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  WHEN I’M WITH YOU

  The Jane Austen Academy

  Book 3

  A Modern Retelling of Northanger Abbey

  by

  Cecilia Gray

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  Kat is destined to be a star and her big break has arrived at last! As the assistant to a celebrity classmate on the set of a feature film, she’s going to show everyone she has what it takes. That is, until she discovers pursuing her dreams may mean forfeiting her heart. Unless she can find a way to have both…

  * * *

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons living or dead, or places, events, or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are products of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

  Copyright 2012 by Cecilia Gray

  Cover Image Copyright ~ Image Source Photography

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written consent from the author/publisher.

  Published by Gray Life, LLC

  READ. LEARN. LIVE. REPEAT.

  * * *

  Praise for Cecilia Gray’s Novels

  “Absorbing… refreshing… commendable.” —Kirkus Reviews

  “A compelling mix of action, drama and love.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

  “Four Stars!” —San Francisco Book Review

  “Gray’s characters are so full of life, hope and dreams, it’s a pleasure to read about them.” —Schenni’s Book Nook

  “This series is definitely worth reading.” —A Whisper of Thoughts Reviews

  “Cecilia has a talent for instilling warmth and weight into her characters.” —Romancing the Book

  “Will have you captivated from beginning to end.” —Can’t Put It Down Reviews

  The Couldn’t-Have-Done-It-Without-You Page

  Thank you to all the amazing and supportive bloggers out there! With special shout-outs to:

  EMILY! You’re my kidney sister, girl.

  Tabatha. Josh’s jaw will not be the same.

  Angieleigh. You compared me to Gayle “Friggin” Foreman (her legal name, right?). I mean, there’s no recovering from that emotionally.

  Autumn. For the book blog tour—thank you so much.

  (Hi Shelley. I obviously haven’t forgotten you. Hugs!)

  Note to the Reader

  I loved writing the first two books of the Jane Austen Academy series—mostly because I love the Academy. I love the idea of a place where you can be all parts of yourself.

  Which is why it was really hard for me to write a book away from the Jane Austen Academy, but I knew it had to be done.

  For one, When I’m With You is a retelling of Northanger Abbey, in which a young girl is drawn away from her home.

  For two, sometimes you need to leave a place to appreciate it.

  There were so many scenes where I wished I could have added Emma’s spunk or Ellie’s sweetness or Lizzie’s attitude, but you know Kat—that girl needs to shine on her own.

  So I hope you’ll take a little trip away from the Academy with me….

  ~ Cecilia

  Contents

  Note to the Reader

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Epilogue

  Discussion Guide

  Author’s Note

  Cecilia’s Booklist

  About Cecilia

  Chapter One

  No one who had known Kat Morley as a baby would’ve thought she’d ever be a star. Not with her pale, pasty skin and static strands of orange-red hair. But Kat believed differently, even from birth. She was only a second out of the womb when her face puckered tight and she let out a bellowing cry that demanded attention.

  Seventeen years later, little had changed—except her looks. She held her rightful place center stage beneath a single spotlight. Her carrot-colored hair had darkened to a rich auburn that she tamed to a sleek shine with a round brush and industrial-strength hair dryer. Her skin was now a smooth alabaster that she kept in perfect condition for the moment she’d been dreaming of her entire life: the moment she became a star.

  And she would be a star. She knew it, felt it, tasted it. Her time was imminent.

  Or not so imminent if Bennet didn’t start remembering his lines.

  “I said, you should give up.” She cued him a second time but was ready to forge ahead to the next line if needed. Kat wouldn’t let their noir murder-mystery production go down in flames because her costar was flailing. She snuck a glance at him over her shoulder.

  He was seated behind a desk, dimly lit on stage left, and stared at its surface instead of glaring at her the way they had practiced and performed.

  “You think you have it all figured out, don’t you?” he said finally.

  Kat hesitated on her cue—he’d spoken the right line but delivered the wrong tone. His voice shook. Wasn’t accusatory and strong. It couldn’t be nerves. This was their third—and last—performance of the week, and he’d been nailing the scene.

  Maybe it was because this was the final performance of the fall semester—the one reserved for parents who were taking her Jane Austen Academy classmates home for Christmas. Parents were enough to make the average actor nervous, she supposed.

  Kat swiveled toward him on her stiletto heel and sashayed slowly across the stage. “I know enough to be dangerous.” As she prowled toward Bennet and got a better look at his face, she realized his voice hadn’t been shaking with fear.

  He was trying not to laugh. But why?

  Kat scooted up on the desk and spun around, crossing her legs seductively in her charcoal-gray pencil skirt. She willed him to get his head back in the scene. They had a full house—paying customers—and the audience deserved the very best from them. “The question is, what kind of danger is a man like you looking for?”

  This was a turning point in the play, when the audience realized her character wasn’t going to turn in the murderer but intended to seduce him instead. Standard noir. An emotional reversal for her character and for the play itself. She’d been working on it since receiving the script in September. It was the crowning glory of the entire production, in her opinion.

  So why wasn’t he focused on her?

  Why wasn’t he committed to this moment?

  Then she saw it—the picture frame on the desk beside her hip.

  For the past two weeks, it had contained a prop photo of a family—the kind that rested inside the frame as it sat on store shelves. But the prop photo had been switched for a picture of a dog’s butt, a pair of sunglasses set on its hide so its tail looked like a nose.

  Kat’s lips twitched. She threw Bennet a smile, but his eyes focused past her. She tilted her head to catch his attention, but he winked at someone backstage—at whom, she didn’t know.

  Kat swallowed her smile, tossed back her head the way her character would, and finished the scene.

  * * *

  As the curtain dropped to thunderous applause following the final bows, Kat hurried backstage to change out of her tight costume, Bennet a step behind her.

  The costume manager breezed by her and practically attacked him when they reached the wings. “I thought you were going to lose it when you saw the photo,” she squealed. “I can’t believe you held it together!”

  “Just barely,” he sa
id. “Whose dog is that? Yours?”

  “Nah, I pulled it off some humor site. Cute, isn’t he?”

  “Very cute,” Kat agreed. She hadn’t quite shaken her dangerous, steely noir tone from the stage. Shaking off a character always took her a bit. She cleared her throat—the photo really had been cute.

  Bennet and the costume manager stilled and went silent as they reached the hanging rack of costumes and piles of clothes. “What was cute?” Bennet asked.

  “The dog. I saw it, too.” Kat pulled off her suit jacket and tossed it on the costume rack. “I almost blew my line.”

  The costume manager glanced at Bennet with a worried frown. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean for you to see it. I figured that since you stay on the other side of the desk for the scene, it wouldn’t distract you.”

  “No, it’s okay.” Kat wished she could smooth the apologetic frowns from their faces. “I thought it was funny, too.”

  They exchanged glances Kat couldn’t quite read. What Kat loved most about the stage, about acting, was that when she was in the spotlight, she knew exactly who she was supposed to be and what she was supposed to say. Even if she forgot her lines—rarely—or had to improvise—often—she knew her character well enough that her mind never blanked onstage.

  Offstage was an entirely different matter.

  Kat pulled her green maxi dress over her head and shimmied out of her costume without flashing much skin, an epic feat of contortion mastered by most stage actors. “Did I miss any other switches?”

  It was tradition for the stagehands and actors to play pranks on each other before final curtain. The first—and last—time it had happened to her had been during the production of The Crucible her freshman year. She’d been so startled by the ritual that she’d dropped a line for the first time ever and then blown her temper backstage. She was the star of the play—she had to hold her performance together, not only for herself but for the entire cast. That was the only reason she’d lost it.

  But since then, she’d watched the crew replace costume wigs with entirely new hair colors, switch out pants to be one size too short, leave dirty notes where the audience couldn’t see them, or place props one length too far to the left or right. She’d watched but had never been part of it.

  “There were a few other switches,” Bennet said. “Anyway…”

  “Anyway…” the costume manager echoed. She took a breath before exchanging a reluctant glance with Bennet. “Hey, Kat. Last performance and all. We’re going for burgers.”

  “Oh!” Kat’s eyes lit up as she grabbed her purse off the pile of crew bags and jackets. “I’d love to join! But maybe later? I have to pack for—”

  “Yeah, yeah,” the costume manager interrupted. “We know, we know. You’ve mentioned it a few times already.”

  Kat smiled apologetically. “I could pack quickly. It’s only for two weeks—no big deal.” Which wasn’t true, because spending two weeks with TV and movie star Josh Wickham was a big deal. At first, she’d been so excited she couldn’t shut up about it—even when no one else in the cast and crew shared her excitement and the feeling dwindled to something else entirely.

  “You’d better not rush it.” Bennet wrestled out of his suit and into a pair of shorts. “Wouldn’t want you to blow your big break.”

  “Oh. Thanks, I guess.” Kat felt like he wasn’t really wishing her well, but she didn’t understand why not. She worked so hard to make every play impeccable. She dedicated herself entirely to the Jane Austen Academy’s drama program—not for herself, but for everyone involved. Why wouldn’t they want her to succeed? They had to know this opportunity with Josh was a dream come true. “Have a good time at dinner, then, and have a nice vacay. Great final show, guys.”

  “Yeah, you too,” they called over their shoulders, already walking away.

  Kat stared after them, a response on her lips to say she was excited to star in the spring play when they returned—she’d nailed the audition and been cast weeks ago—but before she could think of the right thing to say, they were too far away. Kat watched with envy as they met up with other cast members. Their arms rested easily over each other’s shoulders, and they shared smiles.

  Kat felt queasy as she stood there alone, but then she caught sight of Fanny walking toward her with a bouquet of white roses. Her best friend had shunned her usual track jacket and sweatpants for a red dress. Her sleek black hair was spun into a knot, and she’d even rimmed her almond eyes with black eyeliner. Fanny hated dressing up—and hated makeup even more—but she always made an exception for Kat’s plays.

  “You were amazing—as expected.” Fanny followed Kat’s gaze to the retreating backs of the crew, who walked away shoulder to shoulder with linked arms. “Is everything okay?”

  “Of course.” Kat forced a smile. “Why, what are the critics saying?”

  “Critics?” Fanny rolled her eyes. “Everyone thought you were awesome. And you were! But now you seem a little…” Fanny tilted her hand from side to side.

  Kat gathered the flowers to her chest and pulled Fanny into a hug. The bouquet’s cellophane wrap crinkled between them. “Thank you for coming to all three performances. I hope you have your speech ready for the Best Friend Awards.”

  “I’ll leave the stage to you.” Fanny pulled away and peered at her with a keen eye. “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  Fanny opened her mouth but seemed to think better of what she had been going to say. “You sure you don’t want to have dinner with me and the girls?”

  Kat remembered when “the girls” used to refer to her and Fanny, but Fanny had somehow made friends with an entirely new set of girls. There was nothing wrong with Lizzie, Ellie, Anne, and Emma, but they had never all been friends—not until the Academy changed its admissions policy to allow boys to enroll. The four had banded together as besties and were slowly luring Fanny into their group.

  Fanny had done her best to include Kat, but Kat felt the same discomfort she always experienced offstage—like without a role to play and lines to read, she didn’t know how to act. Especially in a crowd with the rest of them. Lizzie was the brains, Ellie was the heart, Emma was the beauty, Fanny was the athlete, and Anne was the Jane Austen Academy legacy. How was she supposed to fit in?

  “I wish I could join you guys,” Kat said, lamely going back to the excuse she’d used earlier with her cast and crewmates. “But I have to pack. Josh said our first week will be in the desert, but we’ll be in Los Angeles the second week, so I need to have the right clothes for both.”

  “Whatever the right clothes means,” Fanny said. “You and Emma and clothes.”

  The mention of Emma’s name stung, but Kat smiled through it as Fanny linked their arms to walk out of the auditorium. “I’ll miss you over break.”

  “I’ll miss you, too.”

  “Yeah, right. You get to spend the next two weeks on a movie set hanging out with Josh Wickham.”

  “Getting his coffee,” Kat corrected.

  “Don’t pretend you aren’t freaking out over it.”

  Kat grinned. “Even I’m not that great an actor.”

  “I still don’t get why he invited you. You aren’t friends, and he’s barely said two words to you since he asked you to join him. Are you sure he’s not intending…you know…” She raised her eyebrows.

  Kat laughed. “To have his wicked way with me in the desert? Or to sell me off to slavery?”

  “No!” Fanny grabbed the bouquet of flowers and whacked Kat on the side of the head with it. “To use you. Josh Wickham is a taker. He didn’t invite you to be his personal assistant out of the goodness of his heart.”

  She’d considered that…for about five seconds. But there wasn’t a single one of those sparks between the two of them. Kat recalled the day Josh had invited her to join him over Christmas break. I could use some company, he’d said. She’d felt the same way. The entire Jane Austen Academy had come together to protest the scho
ol’s inevitable name change by its new ownership, and Fanny and her newfound friends had stood in a circle in the school’s quad, practically holding hands and singing “Kumbaya”—while the media and the rest of the school swarmed and praised them for their camaraderie.

  Somehow, whether by accident or design, Kat and Josh had been left on the outside looking in. She got the feeling that Josh had invited her because, as hard as it was to believe, he felt lonely. And for a second, he had recognized that loneliness in her.

  Kat couldn’t tell Fanny she felt that way, though. That she and Josh weren’t friends. That the two of them, the star of the Jane Austen Academy stage and the real movie star, felt like outcasts—that was the beginning and the end of it between them. It was why he’d invited her.

  “He invited me to join him because I get what he’s about,” Kat said. “You know, the whole acting thing. I intend to earn my keep, too.” Kat had plenty to prove—to herself, to Josh, and to anyone else on set. She had what it took to be a star, just like him.

  “You’re so lucky. I have to spend Christmas break being berated by my grandmother again for not knowing the proper way to brew tea.”

  “At least you’ll have snow when you go home.”

  “Don’t pretend that makes us even,” Fanny grumbled. “You wouldn’t have had snow anyway if you’d gone home for Christmas.”

  “You never know. It snowed in Phoenix four years ago.”

  “Thanks for trying to make me feel better.” Fanny pouted and rested her arm over Kat’s shoulder. “You are the luckiest girl in the entire world.”

  “I know.” Kat’s eyes sparkled.

  She would miss Christmas with her mother. She would miss waking up on Christmas Day and tearing open her presents. She would miss how her grandparents undercooked the roast every single year, and her family was forced to eat nothing but side dishes.

  But she was going to be on the set of an actual film. How could it not be heaven?